


The First Bit of Advice You Gave Me I Liked was "They're too Strong"

by oppressa



Category: The Killing
Genre: Community: 1sentence, F/M, Gen, Homophobic Language, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-18 18:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1438972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oppressa/pseuds/oppressa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>50 sentences of Holder and Linden through out seasons 1, 2 and 3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Bit of Advice You Gave Me I Liked was "They're too Strong"

**Author's Note:**

> Alpha theme set, rearranged in vaguely chronological order. Um, some are just slotted in where I thought they would be at that point in the relationship.
> 
> Title by The 1975.

#11 Name  
He introduces himself as “Holder, from County,” full of relatively young bluster, asking “Oh, you Linden?” like that's an afterthought; “Yeah I'm Linden” she responds flatly, eager to do away with the awkward introductions, _or_ _at least I am to you_.  
   
   
#05 Potatoes  
New partner makes some comment on whether it's his diet or his nicotine habit that'll catch up with him first; in his defence he's six months celibate and meth-free, fries and smokes are about all he's got left to enjoy so _yeah, yeah, whatever, tomorrow you're gone._  
   
   
#12 Sensual  
She sees the way he works people – it's not really intimidation, despite his height, it's more, she doesn't even know, insinuation, maybe, and sometimes really fucking lewd, like with the teacher from Rosie's school – she almost wants to tell him to stop, but he's having too much fun.

  
#27 Blood  
She's caught between telling Jack that his accusation is simply not true and saying she didn't think she'd raised him to be that ungrateful to have a mom at all; in the end she says neither, too angry at him for jeopardising the investigation and mad at herself for jumping to conclusions about Holder.  
  
  
#41 Completion  
“What you see is what you get,” he says, and she believes him, having witnessed that speech, seen all that self-loathing pour out; even if she doubts he 'found himself' at NA, that was nothing other than genuine.  
  
  
#47 Moon  
While he can't deny the crystal had a pull on him like a hook in his guts, and that Linden's addiction is different, based in the work and her determination, Stephen feels justified advising she should try sleep some time; he dreams of her that very night, the first of many to come.  
  
  
#03 Soft  
Half-freaked and half-impressed glances keep sneaking up to her from Belko Royce when she changes her interrogation technique, communicating _shit, Linden;_ he's still got a lot to learn.

  
#25 Devotion  
The symbolism of the cross tat mystifies her, possibly because his methods are so unorthodox, sometimes downright unethical; he explains the half-baked reasoning in the diner, and by the end of the day, she understands it, through the fact that he _stayed_.  
  
  
#15 Touch  
He longs to reach out to her, especially when she's upset, like when the deadbeat reappears on the scene, except his motives wouldn't be entirely right and he doesn't act like that any more, much.

  
#28 Sickness  
One of his tricks is sitting on his hands when the urge to scratch is too strong just to occupy them with a cigarette, or the stress ball indoors – she wonders if she should say something but he's functioning, and to her all that matters is that he'd _talk_ if there was a problem.

  
#46 Sun  
It's difficult to picture Linden in Sonoma; for one thing, those cosy sweaters that hide her small, solid body would have to go, and her freckles would come out, maybe her milky pale skin would even tan after a while, and yeah, perhaps she'd look good like that, but not like his Linden.  
  
  
#44 Heaven  
Sometimes, whether he's shooting her a dark look over a suspect's head or blabbing on about some trivial crap in the car, Sarah kind of gets it, whatever it is that lends Holder the right to call himself that, even sarcastically.

  
#37 Technology  
Beau Soleil opens up its own can of worms, the perpetrators just as faceless as the girls, the fake names adding to the impersonality of the sex and by extension, the sexual assault – this is almost the sort of lead that Linden wishes they hadn't found.  
  
  
#06 Rain  
The same rain pelts the windows of Richmond's apartment as falls on Holder down on the ground, staring him straight in the face; he flips open his phone, dialling Linden; _we got him_ , _he's_ _Orpheus_ , _pick up_.  
  
  
#07 Chocolate  
He's the one that catches all of Richmond's little ladies have basically the same look, brown-eyed brunettes; he shows Linden and to her it's just a profile, a man goes out to find copies of a woman he lost, then hurts the copies because they can't compare.  
  
  
#19 Wind  
The hooker disappears like she didn't exist and neither does any footage of the campaign car filling up – it feels like they're never gonna grasp any hard evidence, then Gil presents him with the photo and tells him “sometimes Stephen, it really is this easy.”  
  
  
#24 Taste  
She'd wanted so much to trust him, no, screw that, she _had_ fucking trusted him, let him in on several occasions, let him be around her boy, but as it turns out he's just another dirty son of a bitch with a taste for betrayal after all.  
  
  
#32 Confusion  
He frowns at the sound of the bleeping phone, wondering why she doesn't pick up for the hundredth time, then smirks back at little man grinning at him – Stephen doesn't mean to use the kid but he is good and practised at getting what he wants and thinks nothing of asking “Hey, why don't you give your moms a call for me?”

  
#40 Innocence  
He slides down the wall outside her room, giving up because that's it, he's fucking done son, appealing to Jack now would only make him even more of a backstabbing asshole in her eyes.  
  
  
#13 Death  
 _Dumb shit_ , she thinks, _you could've been killed_ – surely in his right mind he knows there's always a way back but if she has to show it to him in the midst of his despair then fair enough; “Where's the back pack?” she demands, referring to the last smart, worthwhile thing he did.  
  
  
#38 Gift  
Getting the badge back means more for her having given it to him, somehow – she should've been the one to decide he'd earned it in the first place.  
  
  
#39 Smile  
She only forgives his digs about her love life since they're served up with his slightly shamefaced smile, and Sarah's not completely blind to that kind of thing, she quickly realises he's looking to regain her approval.  
  
  
#31 Home  
Though Holder's clothes and junk items are flung around everywhere the place is actually pretty minimalist and clean, plus he wasn't expecting them – most importantly she feels they're welcome here, safe for one night at least.  
  
  
#08 Happiness  
For a long time, happiness to her was all Jack settling in well at school, getting good grades, smiling at her when she picked him up – now the sight of how he is with Holder adds to that, never mind that their sense of humour kind of eludes her.  
  
  
#10 Ears  
She talks about Rosie like she knows her, like they're connected, intuitively; some of him thinks this is a big part of why she got taken off the case before, and some of him listens, absolutely transfixed.  
  
  
#36 Market  
The most action he's had after the car sex comes at the hands of a male prostitute and he's a hundred bucks poorer for it; maybe it ain't his finest moment in the line of duty, but at least he actually picked up some information in this shit hole, at least _he_ knows how to take one for the team.  
  
  
#33 Fear  
The tribal station passes by on the right and he sits up protesting, but none of them are listening, so he shuts his dry mouth, knowing it don't matter where he's being taken anyways ( _she'll never find him out here and one of their hating faces is gonna be the last thing he ever sees)._  
  
  
#04 Pain  
Holder's in the hospital with his ribs taped which is all her fault; she says sorry to his blonde, tough-talking sister, so much like him she feels Liz needs something more from her, and what comes out is “Your brother's a good cop.”  
  
  
#01 Comfort  
The hand on her shoulder moves to rub circles on her back as Jack's plane takes off; generally Sarah doesn't like to be vulnerable in front of others but this is her partner and he's seen it all so she leans into it, letting him.  
  
  
#42 Clouds  
It's funny how her smile's like a shaft of bright sunlight breaking through, yet her icy stare makes him shiver like someone dumped a bucket of cold water on him.

  
#26 Forever  
“Is there a get-out clause from 'Best Friends Forever'?” She asks, when she really has had it with the references and the guessing games, “Nope,” He says, spraying chips at her across the table, “You in too deep now, Linden, no one ever gets out.”  
  
  
#09 Telephone  
The line goes dead and all he can do is sit there with his heart hammering, eyes on the now-dark top floor, a hand on the door release, but then he hears her voice again in his head, telling him there's no use going in again, _you'll get made just the same_ , _go back and tell someone what happened_.  
  
  
#18 Speed  
Slinging her in this place is worse than what they did to him, her sharp mind that usually works so fast numbed by the drugs, intelligent eyes staring at him with nothing behind them – it's calculated, _wrong_ , and he'll play just as shady to get her out.  
  
  
#43 Sky  
Maybe she shouldn't have snapped at him when he just pulled all sorts of strings to get her out in the world again, under the sky; the truth is she couldn't bear it if he thought she was losing it too.  
  
  
#34 Lightning/Thunder  
The case is closed, it's over, she's going; before she leaves Sarah makes it clear she thinks he did good, that she's here for him in spirit, even though she's sure he goes down a storm with IA.  
  
  
#49 Hair  
Christ, he thinks his jaw drops when she answers the door with her hair down, all he can think is _Linden_ and Linden's _hair_ , she looks so good and he must look completely stupid imagining wrapping it around his fist and letting it escape through his fingers, red, red, red.  
  
  
#14 Sex  
He does his best not to dwell on the shit Reddick says, but something about that image of bending her over the hood just sticks, makes his stomach twist and he almost can't wait to be alone with it.  
  
  
#22 Jealousy  
To be honest, Holder does clean up nice, and his thing with the pretty assistant DA doesn't surprise her; his asking whether she's jealous does though, partly because she just laughs without providing a straight answer.  
  
  
#30 Star  
“I'd draw the North Star on you,” says the girl, and Linden smiles though she's never wanted a tattoo, even if they mean something to people like Bullet and Holder; later as she's staring up at the ceiling of Adrian's closet, she figures maybe that's the one she'd get.  
  
  
#21 Life  
He risks himself too much, and she throws out “Do you like life?” in the middle of a prolonged silence in the car; he replies “You're such a hypocrite, Linden,” continuing to stare out the window.  
  
  
#29 Melody  
 _Pale Blue Eyes_ comes on some late night music documentary and Caroline snuggles closer, murmuring “I like this song”; he nods and feels a flush of sudden guilt for no reason whatsoever.  
  
  
#20 Freedom  
Being free of the job wasn't what she thought it was; she realises now that was a naïve idea of freedom, a more mature version of Rosie's hopes and dreams.  
  
  
#16 Weakness  
Someone has to tell him he's investing too much friendship in the streetkid and it's probably got to be her although she doesn't have the heart; Sarah closes her eyes and lets the case take over again.  
  
  
#48 Waves  
He doesn't care how scared he looks, clutching the radio with his head bent, or about the shake in his voice telling everyone to shut up; then the connection cuts out, and he feels like screaming.  
  
  
#50 Supernova  
His anger explodes in the corridor, manifesting itself physically, verbally, he'll threaten anything to make the lying dyke _bitch_ understand what she almost cost him.  
  
  
#35 Bonds  
Slapping the cuffs on Joe Mills is one of the most satisfying moments of his entire life, not just 'cause he's a kiddy porn filming perverted murderer but 'cause he beat on Linden, and that is never ever permissable, period.  
  
  
#17 Tears  
He's shouted at Linden too many times for her to take him seriously, so he breaks down instead, bearing himself as the addict he is and it's fucking ugly, there's no way he could cry like this in front of Caroline.  
  
  
#45 Hell  
He turns up drunk to the prison with the files, and she lets it slip since unprofessional conduct is kind of Holder's MO, plus she does know what he's going through, at least a little bit.  
  
  
#02 Kiss  
The worst thing, well, not the ultimate worst, considering everything, considering Bullet who he as good as killed _,_ is that he can only make a joke of it, so she thinks he didn't mean it.  
  
  
#23 Hands  
Her only regret is though Holder had no part in it, even begged her not to shoot, he's still complicit, put in one of the worst positions for a cop to have to face; “Didn't anyone tell you?” She asks, in a somewhat dreamy voice, expecting no answer but the silence of the forest and his laboured breath, “Not to put your career in my hands.”

**Author's Note:**

> I do love the idea of Linden being _really into_ Holder, and him being like all cool but who wouldn't want a piece of this etc but for some reason found it easier to write the other way round. With a bit of amused/flattered interest from Linden.
> 
> ETA: Oh, so sorry American friends if 'bluster' is a British English term and this sounded wrong to you right from the off, I'm Irish and I like to think I can swing it with US fandoms without using a beta but yeah...you guys might be laughing at me right now.


End file.
